I want to tell you about one of the best things to come out of the last decade, something that I think is an overall boon to society and tailor-made to combat the current epidemics of loneliness and anxiety that tear at the seams of our social contract. It is something I rediscovered a few years ago, and since then, I have thoroughly embraced it, especially during a rocky period of my life.
I am talking about Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). Now, before I proceed any further, I must note that what I’m about to say can likely be applied to most other tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs), but for my purposes here, I will use Dungeons and Dragons, as that is what I play the most, and that is the TTRPG that most people know.
A little bit about me first. I grew up playing D&D and similar games. My dad and mom both played the game, and thus passed on their love for it to my brother and me. Role-playing games were broadly celebrated in my family’s household. The idea of coming up with someone completely new, someone who had all these traits that either you wished you had or you wondered what it would be like to have seemed magical, like a hack for life. Unfortunately, as I grew up, I drifted away from those imaginative worlds and became interested in other things. It wasn’t until three years ago, on the cusp of thirty, that I started again, amidst a tumultuous time in my life. My birthday was in a few months. I was leaving Los Angeles, a place I had lived for five years and grown to love, and my longtime partner and I were heading for a breakup.
I was depressed, returning home to my parents hat in hand. My long-term relationship was crumbling, and I was unemployed. May of 2022 was one of the lowest points in my life to date.
But over the next few years, the one bright spot was D&D. At first, it began with my family as a semi-weekly thing and then expanded to a local game store. Eventually, I started to be more than just a player but also a Dungeon Master (DM) as well. I also got into watching others play the game like the folks over at Critical Role and at Dimension 20, which then led me to the wider Dropout universe.
All in all, it was a singular light in a dark fog, one that I latched onto to stay afloat. Ever since then, I have come to appreciate both the game itself and its ancillary benefits that anyone willing to give it a shot can enjoy.
Before we proceed, I do recognize that this game isn’t for everyone. What I would stress, though, in this all too digital world, is that one thing human beings still crave and will always crave is community, even if we aren’t willing to admit it. That said, what’s important to know and realize is that not just any community will do. Humans must come together under the right conditions, and I think Dungeons and Dragons is one of many venues for offering exactly that.
The Game Itself
While D&D and its ilk are more popular now than they’ve ever been, a brief explanation of what exactly it is, I think, is worthwhile. The typical game consists of five to seven people, with one player assuming the role of the DM and the others taking on the roles of Player Characters (PCs). The players are solely in control of their own character and their own character’s actions, while the DM typically is in charge of the people, places, events, and things that the player characters encounter along the way as they explore a shared world.
Essentially, the DM plays the world that surrounds the PCs. The PCs are what bring the world to life through their actions. That’s it.
The neat thing, though, is that this base concept can be as simple or complex as needed. Various TTRPGs adjudicate the level of complexity in the relationship in different ways. Some have more rules governing the world in which the PCs live. Others have less that are more open to interpretation. Others still encourage DMs and players to collaborate on what the world at large looks like. D&D 5e sits comfortably in the middle of the spectrum.
And every group that plays it is a little different. Some groups play with fewer people. Some play with more. Some groups prefer a sandbox experience where they don’t feel compelled to follow a main questline, while others prefer to be gently guided towards a singular path. Some DMs have a vast world at their fingertips with tracts upon tracts of lore ready to be deployed at a moment’s notice. Others only have a town or two mapped out.
And the important thing to know is that all these differences are okay. There really is no right way of playing. As long as the group is invested, having fun, and adjudicating any issues that might arise with thoughtfulness and consent, then the game is being played right.
So, why is the Game so Great?
There is evidence that suggests D&D can be a great tool to help people when it comes to navigating the world. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, neurodivergence, low self-esteem, or something else, D&D can act as a boon for people who need practice navigating a variety of situations. Whether the goal is building confidence, facing tough situations, confronting trauma, overcoming flaws, working on a team, getting better at problem-solving, or just being more spontaneous and creative, D&D or really any game that involves roleplaying together is a perfect vehicle for strengthening those skills.
I know because it’s done all that and more for me, and some research over the years has proven its use in therapeutic situations.
I would stress, though, that if you’re thinking of giving it a shot, there is some intentionality that needs to go into any group that comes together to play D&D to ensure success and for everyone to reap the full benefits of the game. The good thing is that best practices of how to function effectively as a group exist. There are thousands of stories out there about what works and what doesn’t, and the secret to solving most issues that arise is through communication. Additionally, the benefits of D&D are only so powerful; there are outside factors that can certainly limit what’s possible, and like anything, this too involves work, practice, and time. Finally, like I said earlier, D&D may not be for everyone, but even if that may be the case, I would encourage everyone to give D&D or some other TTRPG a try.